Imagine if you will, waking up one morning only to find that there are pictures of you in all of your glory while in a drunken stupor, getting 300,000 hits per day on the internet. No, this isn’t the preface to some celebrity gossip, and get real if you think we’re talking naked Kerr here…Only 300,000 hits a day are you kidding me? Now imagine that in these pictures, you are seen holding some Calgary Flames garbage, like the new jersey that you just bought when they made the playoffs, or even worse, one that you had from before. What would be more embarrassing, the whole internet seeing your sloppy-drunk-and-naked-licking-your-friends-boob self, or that same group seeing what you were wearing? Whatever the case, the website being discussed here is www.flamesgirls.com, a website that will have you thanking your lucky stars that VD can’t be passed through a computer screen.

Never mind these Calgarian broads though, what’s with EVERYONE being a huge Flames fan all of sudden. And before you even start to think it, let me just say: save your “Canadian team” bullshit for the Calgary Stampede. People keep telling me how good this is for Canadian hockey, when it in reality we’re talking minimal effects on Canadian hockey other than giving the Flames extra money for when they have to do the infamous big contract signings so that the big performers this year can suck for most of next season (if there even is one). I’m more in favor of actual Canadians winning the cup, and of the final 4, Philly was the only team with less than 15 Canadians on the roster. The bandwagon fans everywhere that jumped on the Flames loveboat just chap my nuts though. Here’s a fun game that all of you normal people can play: remember some faces of “Flames fans” in the next couple of days and in the middle of the next season ask them who their favorite team is. It might help to clip the standings out of the paper so that they can see who’s in first at the time, just incase they forgot. I leave you with one final thought: GO DELI CINQ

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don’t forget how easy it is for people to get the pictures they took of your sick sloppy self on the internet. And here’s a little tip from Uncle Kerrzy: try and get a running start when you’re jumping back off of the bandwagon in a game or two so that you don’t hurt yourself on the fall.