Ahh, game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. The one game that children and adults alike spend a lifetime dreaming about playing in more than any other. Sure, children and adults alike didn’t dream that it would be a Calgary versus Tampa Bay game 7, but regardless of our poor foresight on this one, you can bet that it will be a good one.

If it’s the team that you personally aren’t pulling for that has the distinct pleasure of raising the holy grail of hockey, the hardest professional sports trophy in North America to win, Lord Stanley’s storied mug, the trophy that needs no introduction, although it doesn’t hurt-the Stanley Cup-you can take pleasure in the fact that regardless of the score and who wins the coveted trophy, TITTIES WILL BE FLYIN ON 17TH AVE!

Of course, due to the joys of the internet those of us who do not reside in Calgary will be able to kick back and either celebrate the win of your respective team by giving your Brad Richard a good Rubbin’ Regehr to some heavily inebriated internet sloots who won’t even know what the score was until a week from now, or else wipe away those bitter tears of defeat, make violent and threatening claims to those around you that you aren’t crying and in fact there is merely something in your eye-and being the sadistic bastard that you are-take a good look at the guys in the background of all those Flames girls pictures and chuckle to yourself because you know that a good percentage of those crazy Calgarian bastards will wake up Tuesday with a couple of big Dan Boyle’s on their Mike Commodores that they got from that Chuck Kobaspew that they woke up beside. Hey at least it’s not a Mike Ricci I guess.

There is one last piece of business after the game is over and before the Cup is presented-the Conn Smythe for playoff MVP. Now, having only won tournament MVP off of the ice when MVP stood for most vicious poo, I can only imagine what winning the Conn Smythe must be like. All I’m going to say about this one is that I hope someone Canadian wins it as has been the case in all but two presentations of this legendary trophy. Let me just end here by saying that I hope Tampa Bay pulls out the W on Monday night. FINAL THOUGHT: GO DELI CINQ

MORAL OF THE STORY: In a totally unrelated topic if you just turned 39 and think that you can still fight, SIGN UP FOR HOCKEY GLADIATORS, don’t fight cops. Someone should ask Bob Probert if he finds it a real SHOCK that he is now subsequently in jail. (Yeah, he got tasered a whole bunch of times haha)