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News Article
The Kerrzy Report How to Cope
Posted by Kerrzy on Friday, November 26, 2004

If you happen to find yourself waking up frantically in the middle of the night and hitting the sporting website of your choice to check on the status of the NHL lockout, unfortunately it looks as grim as ever these days. I'm way over in Australia so it wouldn't really matter for me because I wouldn't see hockey regardless, but I've noticed a few instances of the poor folks back home having a tough time coping....

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The Canadian Press, for example, have been using NHL 2005 to simulate the season and have been posting the statistics and even some little game reports. Here's an example:
Flames unbeatable in simulated NHL season, Sens and Leafs deal
(CP) - Led by Jarome Iginla's six points in three games, the Calgary Flames are riding high in the NHL. It's a good idea, but I mean looking at it from way over here, it just looks sad in a way. It's like watching a couple 35 year old guys lacing 'em up still living the dream. It almost gives the Canadian Press a bad name!

Then you've got Dave Frost, as reported in the previous Kerrzy Report there, who has used his free time to yell and scream at CJHL officials and get himself banned from junior leagues. Where'll he find his next boyf...I mean client? Other guys have got the right idea though, as lots of NHLers have gone to European leagues to play some puck, much to the dismay of ex-Vancouver Canuck 'tender Corey Hirsch. Once a lot of these fellas realized that they could make over a million bucks of dirty black market money playing in Russia though, a lot of guys have jumped leagues making the Russian league sort of like the NHL equivalent of "NFL Europe". AK Bars Kazan has pretty much made up for the lack of an NHL all-star game this year by throwing together a team that includes the likes of Brad Richards, Vinny Lecavalier, Nikolai Khabibulin, Alexei Kovalev, Ilya Kovalchuk, Darius Kasparius among others.....more

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The NHL better watch out these guys have managed to snag quite a bit of the young talent in the league. I wonder if they'll all have to defect back to North America like the Red Army days now that they've sold their souls to Mother Russia.

Moral of the Story: If you're having trouble coping, go check out some local junior hockey and send me the game tape, I'm losin it over here all they have is cricket...and I think I've seen more exciting funerals

Just a quick shoutout to a couple English fellas I was rooming with in a hostel that'll be checkin out the Kerrzy Report, who dished me a couple bucks to save me from kickin' it hobo-style while I waited for some more money to hit my bank account. Thanks fellas I appreciate it.
(878 reads)
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Re: How to Cope
by Kerrzy on Friday, December 03, 2004
Just incase you're wondering, the fella in that picture is none other than Adam Chorneyko and the hit he makes in this picture is said to have been the hardest one they've seen in the rink. He's a fuckin beauty


Re: How to Cope
by Edmonton_hockey_gal on Friday, November 26, 2004
oh you sad sad fuck!
it's bad enough HERE with the lockout but to have no hockey what so ever there....come back home and will lace up some skates and go play on the ice!


    Re: How to Cope
    by Kerrzy on Tuesday, November 30, 2004
    yah I wish I could go for a skate, it's gotten to the point where I'm startin to pretend stickhandle down the road and one night I dreamed I found a game of road hockey on the street outside. terrible eh


Re: How to Cope
by steviestwin on Thursday, November 25, 2004
You poor fuck...get your ass back here...I'll buy ya a sixer of Crest and buy ya a sub...deal?


    Re: How to Cope
    by Kerrzy on Tuesday, November 30, 2004
    hey hey, watch the economic insults there boychuk I know where you live



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