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News Article
The Kerrzy Report "You and Me Going Pissin' in the Dark..."
Posted by Kerrzy on Monday, March 14, 2005

It was a rough night for Jeff O'neill of the Carolina Hurricanes last Saturday when he was arrested for drunk driving and disorderly conduct after being seen taking a leak in a nearby shopping mall parking lot and then whizzing inside the car; right through a red light. O'neill, who's been charged once before with a DUI but came out not guilty, was also charged with failing to stop for a stop sign and transporting open alcohol and will have to face court at the start of May after refusing a blood alcohol test on the scene though he apparently reaked of alcohol.

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It's ashame that this didn't take place over here in Australia because he'd only be facing one of those 4 charges considering no one stops for anything here and you can drink virtually anywhere including inside a car. Tough break Jeff!


In other news, Govenor General Adrienne Clarkson is still on a mission to thwart the he-man-woman-haters that are hockey fans by rewarding the womens hockey champions with a trophy of her own this year. This news comes on the tail of reports that Ms. Clarkson wanted the Stanley Cup, the holy grail of hockey, to be awarded after a match between the Canadian and American womens national teams, since the NHL season had been cancelled. That caused quite a fuss in hockey circles because let's get real, if it's going to anyone it certainly wouldn't be a one-off between two womens teams. Right now there is the National Womens Hockey League in the East and the Western Womens Hockey League, of course, in the west. Clarkson hopes to bring the leagues together in a hockey Canada tournament sometime, but unfortunately, it won't be for the Stanley Cup. Better luck next time toots.

Moving right along, Team Sweden is looking weaker by the press release prior to the 2005 IIHF World Championships these days as Colorado Avalanche bandaid Peter Forsberg is now questionable to play for the national side after suffering a concussion at the hands of Farjestad's Peter Nordstrom. "He has a concussion and isn't feeling well," said his daddy Kent, who is the coach of MoDo, adding that the other team were trying to run him from the first shift...awwww. Mats Sundin is a definite "no" for Sweden as well after sitting on his ass and following the Canadian Press' simulated NHL season all year..

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Speaking of the CP's simulated season, the San Jose Sharks (46-10-8-3) are currently leading the league with 104 points and Marion Gaborik is currently on top with 73 points in 56 games. When will they make a REALISTIC video game eh?! If you really want to, you can check it out HERE.

Finally, while most of this years would-be top picks in the NHL draft are wondering whether or not to get their suit drycleaned in anticipation, there is one prospect who will probably just buy a new one with his extra pocket change. Sidney Crosby signed a five-year, multi-million dollar deal with Reebok on March 9th to wear their equipment, be in their commercials and train in their clothes. WOW. Just incase you thought he wasn't worth it, Crosby went out on the 11th and had a 7 point night notching a hatty and four apples against Rouyn-Noranda in a 10-6 win, and then put home another triple with two helpers against Val d'Or the next night. Mr. Crosby now leads the QMJHL in scoring for the second year in a row with 64 goals and 157 points in only 59 games. Not bad at all...

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That's all folks, have a good one.

Kerrzy
(1130 reads)
Comments

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Re:
by brently14 on Sunday, April 10, 2005
Poor Jeff, I feel bad for 'em actually! Although it was stupid i think he feels bad.


Re:
by brently14 on Sunday, April 10, 2005
Poor Jeff, I feel bad for 'em actually!


Re: jeff oneill
by Rusty on Thursday, March 17, 2005
this guy is a fuckin moron...useless on the ice ..had one good year..and obviously didnt learn shit from dany heatley....if i was a millionaire i would buy tonnes of skoal...and take a taxi home when loaded. Evil or Very Mad



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