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	5 Golden Rules of being a GONGSHOW Hockey Boyâ€¦.
	Posted by MAC@GSH on Thursday, June 22, 2006
#5 Donâ€™t wear socks with sandals; this is just plain wrong and you fucken know it. This is a pure blow up for yourself with any ladies, and a Billy Guerin-tee you blow up the boys too â€“ a selfish suicide bomber move on any Canadian patio with the lads. If you do this, you are NOT a GONGSHOW HOCKEY boy. www.gongshowhockey.com #4 If you suck at hockey donâ€™t grow hockey hair â€“ only true beauties who can play the game are entitled to grow the sacred flow (see Ryan Smyth, Oilers). You see a hockey players flow is an important aspect of our image; something we take pride in and we spent a lot of time and effort on. Thatâ€™s right, battling through the tough stages of when your hair wasnâ€™t short but wasnâ€™t long either; battling through the hat only stage where you couldnâ€™t grease up the flow â€“itâ€™s a helluva process when it comes down to getting it done. So, if youâ€™re a duster donâ€™t grow it â€“ keep it short and tight like your knob. If you do choose to grow it and youâ€™re a plug, you are NOT a GONGSHOW HOCKEY boy. www.gongshowhockey.com #3.......(CONTINUED BELOW) #3 Donâ€™t chirp on the ice when youâ€™re wearing a cage or full windshield. Itâ€™s obvious to everyone on the ice that youâ€™re a pussy and you should know by now that you have as much respect around the league as a 18 year old prisoner the morning after his first night in jail. If youâ€™re going to wear a cage, it better be because your jaws broken or you have an eye injury. If its not; you better keep your mouth shut and you stick down. This is hockey, be a man play the game the Canadian way. If you do rock a fully or windshield, you are NOT a GONGSHOW HOCKEY boy. www.gongshowhockey.com #2 Donâ€™t chirp to broads in a foreign town that you play in the OHL, WHL, Junior A, AHL, NHL etc. when clearly you fucken donâ€™t. Although this may seem like a great play at the time when youâ€™re trying to impress some ladies; it most surely is not. You see, every town and every bar has a few true hockey lads waiting to blow up plugs like you with the ladies so we can swoop in like the true beauties/heroes that we are. Tell them youâ€™re a rock star, a soccer play â€“ just not a pro hockey player. Itâ€™s insulting to a true hockey boy and we will toss a grenade in your fox hole every time. If you do choose to rock this bullshit story, you are NOT a GONGSHOW HOCKEY boy. www.gongshowhockey.com #1 No matter what level of hockey you play â€“ be it the NHL or plugging around on the outdoor rink being an ankle bender; never and I mean never wear any hockey jersey with the #99 on it (unless itâ€™s actually one of Gretzâ€™s jerseyâ€™s). Not only is it sacâ€”religious in Canada, itâ€™s sure to get you chirped by the other team and in my perfect world â€“ a few loosened gibbers. Bottom line, 99 is not for you, there are tonnes of other numbers out there â€“ pick one. If you do choose to rock old #99, you are NOT a GONGSHOW HOCKEY boy. www.gongshowhockey.com There it is boys, another original rant from Macker. I wanna see how long it takes for this to be emailed back to me after itâ€™s been passed around to the hockey boys around the world. So copy paste this beauty, and send her to all the hockey boys you know. Letâ€™s see how tight the hockey community really is.... www.gongshowhockey.com
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Re: 5 Golden Rules of being a GONGSHOW Hockey Boyâ€¦.
by clutcher on Wednesday, February 07, 2007
this article should be printed out and framed in the hockey hall of fame.

Re: 5 Golden Rules of being a GONGSHOW Hockey Boyâ€¦.
by hockeybum19 on Saturday, July 22, 2006
great read i agrre with #1 dont take his number their is a reason not very many players wear it its out of respect and if you wear it (not on one of his jersey's) you should get some respect

Re: 5 Golden Rules of being a GONGSHOW Hockey Boyâ€¦.
by soul on Friday, June 30, 2006
that was half decent.. not even.
first off, what if your playing in a lague that requires bird cages, such as d.1 college hockey or prep or hihgschool, does that imply that no one should say anything negative to another player?