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Tales from the locker room Tieja-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
Posted by tieja_mac on Sunday, November 22, 2009
* From a girl's perspective...

It’s no secret that hockey players are some of the best looking athletes on the planet. They’ve got the body, the grit, the attitude...oh and did I mention the body? The question is how do you narrow it down and pick the cream de la crème of the NHL?

To sort out all of the eye candy the league has to offer, I came up with a rating system and a list of criteria in an effort to separate one hottie from the next. Each player can earn a total of five +/- points per category in each Performance, Physique, Extra-curricular, and Swagger, for a combined maximum total of +20 points. I present to you, the Top 10 Sexiest Hockey Players in the NHL for the 2009-2010 season.

10. Mike Richards
Performance : [+3] The captain of the Flyers is worth $69 million over 12 years, the largest deal offered to a player in franchise history, which speaks volumes about his performance.
Physique : [+1] He’s got style and he’s decent to look at, I mean he’s not top of the radar when it comes to looks, but he’s still got that something.
Extra-curricular : [+2] He’s done work with the Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, and played in a charitable poker tournament.
Swagger : [-2] The guy seems like a bit of an ass, which is defiantly an offside. But I can’t say I know him on a personal level, so I’ll be conservative in my rating.
Combined Total : +4

9. The Staal Brothers
Performance : [+3] It’s a four-for-one deal with these guys; their dedication and work ethic are top of the class. For anything they may lack in skill (not a heck of a whole lot), they make up for with their unmatched strong will.
Physique : [+2] Mr and Mrs Staal must have a pretty hefty gene pool to produce four NHL calibre babies. They’re cute, sturdy farm boys, and the fact that there are four of them ups the ante.
Extra-curricular : [+3] They’re involved in skates and hockey events for charity.
Swagger : [+3] For being so personable and down to earth, I’ll give them a few.
Combined Total : +11

8. Vincent Lecavalier
Performance : [-3] Vinny came off of a season high 108 points in the 2006-07 season, and has been dropping ever since. He’s defiantly hit a slump this year, with only two goals in thirteen games – he’s even been dropped from first to third line. Until Vinny can hone up to the C on his jersey, his performance points defiantly stand in the negative zone.
Physique : [+5] Can we say go-go, ga-ga? (drools)
Extra-curricular : [+5] He’s the recipient of the NHL Foundation Player Award – that’s pretty legit.
Swagger : [+3]He’s defiantly got the swag. However, there are times when he gets a bit hot headed.
Combined Total : +13

7. Jason Spezza
Performance : [+4] He’s on the number one scoring line for the Ottawa Senators; puts points up on the board, can’t ask for much more than that.
Physique : [+3] He had a modelling career as a five year old with Minute Maid and Kmart amongst others...that’s hot.
Extra-curricular : [+3] Charity golf.
Swagger : [+4] He’s got a heart of gold, and he might have one of the nerdiest laughs in the league...uber cute.
Combined Total : +14

6. Sidney Crosby
Performance : [+5] Sid’s performance is his chief proprietor. He’s the youngest captain in history to win a Stanley Cup, he’s won the Art Ross, Hart, and Lester B Pearson awards, and played for the All Star team as well as Team Canada. He is already well on his way this season with over 30 points and a +/- of 9. He’s been destined to be the next Great One since the age of like 10.
Physique : [+5] What’s there not to like?
Extra-curricular : [+5] The kid is pretty well the poster boy for all things positive in the hockey world.
Swagger : [-1] He doesn’t have any. He’s been groomed to play it safe since the age of like six. He’s predictable, and his interviews are as cliché as they come.
Combined Total : +14

5. Dion Phaneuf
Performance : [+4] Wearing an A for the Flames, he’s by far the hardest hitting physical presence in the league. At 6’3, 215 lb he’s rock solid. His only downfall may be the one sidedness of his game.
Physique : [+4] Rough and tough...gotta love it.
Extra-curricular: [+4] Recipient of a humanitarian award, participant in charitable golf tournaments, and does work for the Alberta Childen’s Hospital.
Swagger : [+3] It pains me not to give him a perfect five, because Dion is the definition of swagger. He defiantly walks the walk - he’s a quiet force to be reckoned with, and he’s got the cover of NHL ’09 which ups his swagger points for sure. His only baggage: Elisha ‘sloppy seconds’ Cuthbert.
Combined Total : +15

4. Ryan Getzlaf
Performance : [+4] Alternate captain of the Ducks, he’s got a Stanley Cup ring, and two World Juniors Championships to his name.
Physique : [+3] He’s got the perfect frame, but it’s the Draculaish receding hairline/slightly bald spot on the back of his head that significantly brings him down. Spiked gel tips were out of style in the ‘90s too Ryan.
Extra-curricular : [+4] He’s done work for children’s charities, and also done modelling and fashion work for charity...stud.
Swagger : [+5] He’s more of a vocal figure than most guys, which earns him some serious go ahead points. He’s honest and straight forward, funny, and humble. His brother plays in the CFL, his girlfriend is cute, he loves country music, and cooking...what more can a girl ask for?
Combined Total : +16

3. Mike Fisher
Performance : [+4] A rugged two way forward wearing an A for the Senators. Not the best stats in the league, but enough to get him recognized.
Physique : [+4] Just take a look at those baby blues...and the flow, and the body, and the...everything.
Extra-curricular : [+4] He volunteers with hockey camps for kids and other programs through his church.
Swagger : [+4] Well, he’s dating Carrie Underwood which automatically puts his swagger factor up. He’s well spoken with a head on his shoulders, and as a devout Christian he writes the book of different passages on his stick. Amen.
Combined Total : +16

2. Luke Schenn
Performance : [+3] Schenn hasn’t done anything wrong per say, but he hasn’t exactly done anything noteworthy either – granted the D man is only in his second season with the Leafs. He plays a sound defensive game and dubbed as the ‘human eraser’ he gets down to the grime when he needs to...for that he’s awarded points.
Physique : [+5] Absolutely gorgeous. Period.
Extra-curricular : [+4] Schenn’s been involved in charity golf tournaments and Leaf’s at school visits. That’s plenty to award him some merit.
Swagger : [+5] He’s well spoken, well dressed, and well behaved; an overall sweetheart. That doesn’t throw him on the gay bus though. He’s got grit, just at all the right times. Have to give him some extra credit for being on a Toronto team too. Time will tell if he can maintain his innocence in the league...lets hope.
Combined Total : +17

1. Jarome Iginla
Performance : [+5] His performance is hands down the best in the league. He throws huge numbers up for his team, and although he doesn’t go picking fights he’ll drop the mitts when he’s needed. He’s a five-time NHL All Star, Calgary Flames all time leader for games played, points, and goals, and has represented Canada on an international level several times. He’s also the recipient of the Lester B. Pearson, Art Ross, and Rocket Richard trophies.
Physique : [+4] He’s not perfect to me, but he sure as hell is close.
Extra-curricular : [+5] Jarome participates in an endless amount of charitable work, going as far as donating $2,000 on account of every goal he scores. The man is truly just a good, down to earth guy.
Swagger : [+5] Iginla is the definition of an All-Canadian hockey player, which is the main reason he sits in the top spot on the list. He’s genuine, humble and polite, yet demands an unspoken sense of respect – just an overall class act. He’s shown his loyalty to the Calgary Flames entering into his 14th season with the team, he has won various leadership and humanitarian awards, and he has to get some credit for being the first black (milato?) captain in NHL history. He is married to his high school sweetheart to whom the happy couple have three children.
Combined Total : +19

Honourable Mention
Tuomo Ruuto – Carolina Hurricanes
Shane O’Brien – Vancouver Canucks
Brent Burns – Minnesota Wild
(2512 reads)
Comments

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Re: Tieja-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by greer35 on Tuesday, March 02, 2010
by far the dumbest article I have read ever on gsh.


Re: Tieja-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by MulletOfTannerGlass on Tuesday, March 02, 2010
TANNER GLASS IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING STUD IN THE NHL

FLOW IS UNREAL Shocked


Re: Tieja-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by afuehring on Saturday, February 06, 2010
You're missing 1. Patrick Sharp and 2. Cory Emmerton (not officially NHL yet, but drafted by the wing and currently playing for Grand Rapids)


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by heddy6 on Wednesday, November 25, 2009
tuomo ruutu
mike fisher
martin havlat
Ryan O'Reilly
del zotto
zach parise
rick dipietro
Toews
patrick eaves


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by murfman87 on Tuesday, November 24, 2009
maybe you should toss toss chara on that list haha.

http://multimedia.heraldinteractive.com/images/52ac74fcd3_chara_10132009.jpg


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by pineau15 on Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Getzlaf??? He's fuckin bald. And where the fuck is smyth? The mullet does things to me only I guess


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by beastdangler87 on Monday, November 23, 2009
Todd Bertuzzi


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by jndgreer on Monday, November 23, 2009
what're you gay or something?


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by hixy88 on Sunday, November 22, 2009
where the fuck is mike ricci? you have terrible taste.


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by chillywillywall on Sunday, November 22, 2009
where am i ?


Re: T-Mac's Top 10: Sexiest Hockey Players
by Aut0_Ch33z on Sunday, November 22, 2009
terrible



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