Gongshow Hockey › Gettin' Jiggy With It

Gettin' Jiggy With It
Friday, October 22, 2004

Posted by Kerrzy

The WHA announced last week that it had managed to sell the league over to another group of investors, led by none other than the Fresh Prince himself, William Smith...! The sale gave his group of investors the name, a few computers and some desksâ€¦Its like the business version of trading for some duster, a puck bag and some rolls of sock tape. According to recent news, things are already looking grim for the new investors as Mr. Smith was quoted as saying â€œthe business model established by Dr. Vaccaro and his group is still sound."

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Fellas-the league folded like toilet paper in an origami shit house, why would you keep the same business model? Oh I see, so that you can have yourself a league with no players, cities or rinks for the â€œfranchisesâ€ and hey, why not keep the same lists compiled during the draft that no one paid any attention to, not even the players that were drafted. At least they had good timing, trying to draft players before the lockout happened and waiting until after most players found a team to play with for the year to announce that theyâ€™re trying again. Just give up already.

Elsewhere after tripping over a fallen contestant in his countries 100m qualifiers, the late John Candy has apparently convinced Red Wings defenseman Chris Chelios that he can still make the Olympic dream come true by joining the bobsled team. Although Chelios is American, his parents are Greek and he has been training to be on the Greek Olympic squad for the upcoming 2006 Olympics. Hey if the labour dispute gets sorted out Chelios will have a chance to get TWO silver medals this time around instead of one! With the lockout in full swing, itâ€™s not just the players taking this opportunity to do some travelling. â€œVintageâ€ luggage must be in style in New Jersey right now because last week it was announced that they threw out some money and picked up a 31-year old suitcase, one that has been to Chicago, Edmonton, Philadelphia, Calgary and Colorado previously. Continental Airlines must be a lonely place, because word has it they even have a name for the suitcase: Dean McAmmond.....more

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Times are tough for French-Canadian-left-wing-legend â€œluckyâ€ Luc Robitaille. First he gets the axe from the Red Wings, and although he got to re-join the L.A. Kings (his draft team) and led them in scoring last season, they finished 11th in the West and he managed to top their scoring list with only 51 points in 80 games. On the bright side, thatâ€™s a 20-point improvement from the fourth-line 81 games before that with the Wings, but apparently thatâ€™s not good enough for the Mother country as Robitaille was apparently turned down to play for a club called Rouen in the FRENCH LEAGUE.

This is a league known as one of the weaker ones (play Canada vs. France in any version of and NHL video games and the toughest part is to keep the score respectable), and players in the league donâ€™t even get paid, yet they turn down the highest scoring left winger of all time. BURN.

Another league has popped up for bored players of locked out teams, this time around itâ€™s a no-hitting, no-fighting 32-stop tour of Quebec thatâ€™ll feature the likes of Simon Gagne, Jose Theodore, Jean-Sebastien Giguere, and the master thespian himself, Alexander Daigle among others. A no-hitting, no-fighting league in Quebec, yeah REAL original. Anyways, aren't those guys a little old to be playing in the Q?

Moral Of The Story: Canada opens the 2006 Winter Olympics against Italy. Whether or not professional players will be allowed to come out for the tournament is still yet to be seen, but I think we could put our National soccer team out there and still make them re-think entering a team in 2010.