Gongshow Hockey › The Rink's Half Full

With that said, a lot of low-end American teams will this season have an excuse to have empty rinks during at least the first part of the year. Keep in mind though, that once, or if, the season resumes it won't be as easy for team management to explain to investors why you can count the number of people in the stands on a quadripelegics appendages, so they shouldn't get their hopes up. Next up, the Calgary Flames will have a golden opportunity to get that playoff streak that they worked so hard for back on track after last season, while at the same time giving those bandwagon fans that haven't jumped off...yet (the season hasn't started so give them some time) a reason to feel as though they would have made the playoffs if not for the lockout. That way they can relive the fluke that was last season and get that streak of early round playoff failure going again. Everyones happy. Now, for those of you who enjoy having something to bitch about and do so recreationally, but are bored of the same old lockout garbage to whine with your friends about don't worry; I've got you covered too. Until the season starts every player in the entire league is an overpaid underachiever and all your most hated players have terrible stats. On the other hand everyones tied for the lead in every category at this point so you can pump the tires of one of your favorites as well.

As far as stats go, even a guy like Arturs Irbe and his sick dirty-tampon style pads will look like an all-star this year with perfect statistics. We all know though, that guys like him had better just train with the AHL or ECHL farmies of their team because who are they kidding. Might as well just start referring to him as seashell because as far as that goes he's about as washed up as a beach full of them. Speaking of goalies, if the lockout ends up lasting really long, this'll be a breakout year for band-aids like Dominik Hasek who will be able to up their stocks by staying injury-free for a whole season. Maybe that's a good chance for Lindros to stick around for a season...as long as he doesn't go outside on a windy day, wears a helmet 24/7 and tries his best not to move in any way that might warrant another concussion...he should be fine. Continued....

On a more serious note though, the lockout should give some of the players a chance to explore other interests in life that they never really had a chance to get into before. For instance Mike Ricci could take up modelling, Dan Cloutier could take up stopping pucks, Todd Bertuzzi could try community service and Mike Danton could take it up the...You know what, I think I'll skip that one. Seriously though, maybe a lot of players have other things they'd like to do with their lives. How about Alexandre Daigle? Maybe he could take another swing at acting and land the lead role in Disneys "Miracle 2". .